How Late is Too Late?

First of all, I know I live in Spain. Time is more flexible here than where I am used to, and outside of English class, I will not complain. However, in an English class, we are not only learning the English language, we're learning English customs.

I added this to my facebook status:

Native English Speakers: How do you personally feel about lateness? If you say 12, what is 'acceptable' lateness and what is not. (Would love as many opinions from as many countries as possible please)

This is what some of my friends had to say in response:

John C.: If it's a pre-arranged appointment with a friend for a coffee or something at a place that's familiar to you both I'd say 15 minutes is the maximum, but really I think if you're going to be more than 5 minutes late it's polite to call ahead and say.

If it's an informal function where there's going to be lots of people I'd say anything up to half an hour is acceptable (if not fashionable =O)"

Barb W.: I am with John and on the Isle of Man the time lines would be longer in Winter to allow for snow etc but in Summer 10 - 15 mins is ok

Sarah St.: Here is my North American perspective! If the appointment is for professional reasons (interview, meeting etc.) then being late is unacceptable, you should arrive at least 15 minutes early. As for pre-arranged/ informal function, I agree with John.

Joe O. Yes, exactly what Sarah said!

It's funny because in my wife's Buddhist group we have the honor of have a Lama from Tibet visit the group sometimes. When he is in town, we talk about American time and Tibet time. (because he always starts late) Tibeten culture is different :-)

Perry F. United States here ... and most of my professional friends follow the axim "If you're early, you're on time ... if you're on time, you're late ... and if you're late, don't bother showing up". Of course these days I work in Emergency Medical Services, so being on time is a tiny bit more crucial than when I was in Real Estate.

Sayed Z.: i think lateness is totally unacceptable.... u may come 15-20min earlier but dont even 5 min later.....

Sabrina S: Hmm...I have to think like my parents because my perspective has been "contaminated". For my parents, being on time means at least 5 minutes early (they usually arrive before then). Being late starts one minute after the arranged time. I think if five minutes have gone by, phone calls would start to be made but maybe not until 10 minutes....polite but annoyed phone calls.

Virginia L: 5 mins, or you better have a limb missing

Kim Beros: I suppose it depends on where you are going. If it is a formal or business appointment it is not really acceptable to be more than a few minutes late. If my students are more than ten minutes late for class, they are considered absent. However I personally think up to fifteen minutes for casual meetings is o.k. Anything after that warrants a call and an apology. People differ greatly in relation to what they deem is time appropriate. Because I am a 'super anal organised, personality type A' I am obsessively 'on the dot', but have a lot of friends who are never on time for anything and I make allowances for that. After all, it is our obsession with 'being on time' for everything that places so much stress on half the world.

Andrew: Occasionally with good excuse is unavoidable. Habitual lateness rhymes with bitchual; how's that 4 english? America bitches!

Little Wolf: and I am not late for professional engagements, but I used to work in international projects and would constantly be frustrated by "africa time" and most of the projects in the middle east would always be over schedule-vendors wouldn't feel a sense of urgency, construction crews would take days off...and we had to be careful not to offend our "partners" in country

Andrew: yeah, black time is the worst. I went to a thing on martin luther king day, and I didn't get to the free fried chicken afterwards until about four hours behind schedule, because everything just got dragged on and on, it was like a nightmare!

Mette M: I'm not native English speaker, but here is my opinion: My limit is MAX 15 min. before I leave (unless the person lets me know he/she is late). Later than that is not acceptable. If the person lets me know (before the 15 min limit) it can be longer depending on the situation.( Waiting on a street corner the limit is 5 min.) Am I strict?

Alicia K: Personally, I am a 15-min girl. Earlier than 15 mins is just rude (because they aren't ready for you), later than 15 minutes, you need to reschedule. Also, I call ahead if I'm going to be more than 5 minutes late and give them an ETA.

However, when I worked with a bunch of people from Latin countries, they operated on very different rules. You were supposed to tell them 10 AM if you meant 12 PM, and it was just "understood".

Susan N: Up to 15 minutes = fashionably late. More than 15 minutes without call / good excuse = rude

David B: It's a sliding double scale, depending on the situation, and my lack of ability to really define reasonable or acceptable. For instance, if I feel I've waited too long, it doesn't really matter if it's been fifteen minutes or an hour; I feel slighted and the ego is hurt. But depending on my internal excuse, I will feel fine being at least that late for someone else. :/

Laurie: Depends on where & what it is.....if your goin out somewhere say to dinner/movie 15-20min but if it's a bbq/party or something an hour is fine. Plus im worth it :D

Sevika S: Back home when you are told 11am, don't arrive before 11.30 as they are not ready for you, unless of course it is a meeting at a restaurant or the like...then 15 min max if they have not called to let you know they will be late.
I practice the 15 min rule, I hate people who waste my time. Though I must say I have not sat around waiting for anyone ever....maybe what you ought to be discussing is 'why don't people call to let you know they will be late for an appointment?'

Beáta S: I agree with Sevika! I'm not an English Native Speaker either but I think the rules of not being late and notifying others if late apply to most of the European countries (well, at least the Northern countries I happened to live in).
I think I could 'forgive' any kind of lateness, as long as I would be notified of it... there is no room in my life for people who cannot respect me... simple as that :))

Sevika S: And just to add, 'lateness' seems so much nicer than 'tardiness'...! On such a disagreeable issue I propose 'tardiness'! :-)

Little Wolf: I am late all the time-unless a friend absolutely needs to be somewhere on time. The army beat it out of me for a time, but it didn't last long. Romantic interests have said it's a matter of respect (lack of respect actually) so at least I give notice these days-although disrespect is never my intention. it's just that bizarre things always come up no matter how many contingency plans I have, and it-timeliness-is not one of my priorities just for the sake of meeting the clock. However-I do move with a sense or urgency when extreme situations call for it, and a delay could result in injury or death.

Little Wolf: oh and if I get tired of waiting I am not bitter, I just find something else to do and figure they got tied up.had a good reason...I almost never feel blown off, or ignored *shrugs* I'm very good at entertaining myself, and very rarely doubt anyone's expressed intentions, unless I have a pattern to go on. 

When coming to English class, I expect you to be on time. If you are more than ten minutes late, you will need to call or send an sms and let me know. If you do happen to be late, you must always begins with an apology. 'I'm sorry I'm late. I was caught in traffic.'


Photo: Tiffany Jones